When a family member is diagnosed with cancer, it can be hard to initially handle. It is common and natural for you both to feel overwhelmed, scared, angry, sad and other emotions all at once. This compilation of emotions can make knowing exactly how to react to the diagnosis that much harder.
If you want to help, but you’re not sure how, here are some ways you can make the process easier for your relative and yourself:
- Listen. People process issues like a cancer diagnosis by talking about it. Show that you are listening by occasionally paraphrasing what your relative said and asking if that is what they meant. Unless asked, in the early stages of the diagnosis don’t offer advice. Your ears are worth more than anything at this point of the journey. The doctor will help your loved one and yourself through the process, discuss their prognosis, and help find the best treatment centers in your area.
- Tell Your Relative You Love Them. Even if you think it is implied, hearing that someone loves them can help with feelings of depression and isolation, which are common after a diagnosis. Show affection when you can, this effort can have a huge impact on the coping process.
- Don’t Compare. Sometimes when someone is going through a similar experience as you or someone you know, it may be easy to bring those experiences into conversation. But not all cancer experiences are the same, which is why you shouldn’t compare your friend’s mom’s cancer to your relative’s cancer.
- Help Without Being Asked. Some cancer patients don’t like to admit they need help and will neglect to ask when it is necessary. Little gestures can often make the biggest difference. Make your relative’s favorite meal or dessert and stick it in their fridge. Help with the laundry and housework. Drive them to appointments or do daily errands.
- Provide Comic Relief When Necessary. Yes, this can be a trying time for your relative and other members of the family and close friends, but it is also important to remember to laugh. Be careful not to offend your loved one, and only provide humor when it is appropriate. Remember to stay sensitive when they are grieving and offer a chance to laugh when they could use the reminder. Humor can be a great form of medication and may offer a way of healing.
As each diagnosis and each person affected by cancer is different, the ways to help your relative overcome the disease may also differ. These tips serve as a helpful guide, but you are ultimately the best judge on how to respond and act around your loved one. The most important thing is to just be there for them while providing support.
Author bio: Kaitlyn Teabo is a writer for The Mesothelioma Center. She combines her interests in writing, cancer research and emerging scientific technology to educate the mesothelioma community about asbestos and its related diseases.