Learning to be Thankful After Cancer

Cameron, Lily and Heather

Cameron, Lily and Heather

I am thrilled to introduce to you my very first guest blogger; Cameron Von St. James, who is pictured here with his wife Heather and their daughter Lily. Thank you Cameron for sharing your story of hope and inspiration with us.

Our holidays have always centered around family traditions and celebration of gratitude. However, seven years ago at the start of the holiday season, I felt that I had little to be thankful for.

In August of 2005, our daughter, Lily was born. We were looking forward to celebrating her first Christmas as a family of three, and my wife, Heather and I talked endlessly about our hopes and plans for our daughter’s first Christmas. However, in an instant all of our excitement and happiness was torn away. My wife was diagnosed with cancer, just three days before Thanksgiving.

Lily was just three months old when Heather learned that she had malignant pleural mesothelioma, a rare and very deadly form of cancer. We went from planning her first holiday experiences with family, friends and Santa, to medical options for fighting cancer. I was so angry that this was happening to my family, and I was terrified at what might happen. I learned quickly what mesothelioma was and what the chances were of survival. I did my best to be positive, but somehow all I could picture was the worst-case scenario; me as a widower with a daughter who would never really know her mother.  I truly felt in those moments that I had nothing to be thankful for.

Cameron and Lily

Cameron and Lily

Despite our fears in the next few days, we still had a Thanksgiving dinner. Heather’s family had flown in to celebrate Thanksgiving with us. Heather would start treatment in Boston soon, so it was really one of the last times for us to all be together. There was something else that we had to discuss. It was one of worst conversations since learning that Heather had mesothelioma. After dinner, we sat with Heather’s parents and talked about our finances, including all of our financial assets, debts, what we could liquidate and how to pay for child care and Heather’s treatment. Heather and I both worked, but money was already tight and with expensive travel and treatment looming, along with the fact that we would be reduced to one income when Heather started treatment, we were in financial trouble.  I was embarrassed and mortified to have to have this conversation with my family, and it would be years before I could look back on it with anything but shame.

Now, I realize how mistaken I was back then to view this time in the way that I did. I realize now how very lucky I was to be surrounded by people who cared about my family, who were willing to drop everything to be by our sides and make incredible sacrifices to ensure our well-being. The people in our lives really came through for our family and gave whatever they could to help us. While mesothelioma had devastated us, it hadn’t completely shattered what we always had together and it made us pull together even more that Christmas.

Heather, Lily and Cameron

Heather, Lily and Cameron

This holiday, I want to thank every single person who showed their kindness and support for my family. The love of my family and friends truly allowed us to celebrate a special time of year together. We now have a healthy little girl and more time to make many new memories and traditions around Christmas.  Thanks in large part to the love and support of our family and friends, we were able to make it through Heather’s treatment, and she beat her cancer. Mesothelioma has not been a part of our lives for over six years now, and we’ve been able to share many Christmas’ together with Lily.  We hope that our story can be a source of hope and inspiration to all those currently battling cancer this holiday season.

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4 thoughts on “Learning to be Thankful After Cancer

  1. Pingback: Team Naked | Hope for Heather Update

  2. Pingback: Gratitude…

    • Thisa was awesome…..very inspiring knowing there is hope for people with this nasty cancer…God Bless you Heather and family!!!

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