The Seven Scams My Dog Pulls Off To Get More Food

Dash 2012

pot-belly tween-dog adj   My 5 year old wiener dog; Dash. She was suppose to be a miniature Dachshund, but at 22 pounds, there is nothing miniature about her. She has a small head like a miniature  but a big body like a standard, in between, (a ‘tween-er’), and she is fat so she has a  pot-belly.

Dash is ALWAYS hungry. She constantly complains about it and has developed 7 scams to get more food from her family:

  • The “I’ll guard you while you are eating, then I’ll come in for your leftovers” scam. I’ll bark at the TV,  imaginary other dogs, and the UPS truck’s brakes to show you how well I guard.
  • The “Helping to clean-up the ‘brothers’ rooms while foraging for food” scam. I’ll run up the stairs with you when you go in to tidy their rooms and grab as much food as I can find as fast as I can.
  • The “I went potty outside (again) so I get a treat” scam. Hey you started the ‘potty outside’ treat…don’t blame me.
  • The “I acted like I wanted to go outside so you got up but instead I ran to the treat cabinet” scam. I’m an addict what can I say?
  • The “Wake you up in the middle of the night to hunt in the garden, then insist on a treat for my efforts” scam. You guys were so excited that night I caught the possum…hate the game not the player.
  • The “Wow, waking you up in the middle of the night scam worked so now I’m just going to whine until you wake up, where I will act like I am going to go outside to either potty or hunt, but I will only put one paw out, then I will run towards the treat cabinet and wait for a delicious yum-yum” scam. And finally:
  • The “You just had sex so I get a treat for having to witness it” scam. That’s right, I get another treat after you have sex or I can just whine instead of letting you drift off to sleep until I wake you up for my next treat.

    Sleeping Beauty

    Dash on a walk

Dash at the back door

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